Woman refuses to keep watering neighbor's plants after neighbor starts leaving a to-do list every time she's out of town: ‘A favor shouldn’t turn into a second job’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 7, 2026 1:45 PM EST

Anyone who has ever owned a plant knows that keeping it alive is a lot harder than it seems. When you buy one, you might think that all it takes is watering it once a week, but evidently, most plants require a lot more than that.

Some would say that my plastic plants are abominations, but I never wanted the responsibility of taking care of an actual, living plant. I already have two cats to take care of, so I know for a fact that a plant will not survive more than a couple of weeks in my apartment. Don't get me wrong, I am a responsible pet owner, and my apartment is lovely, but I know there is only so much I can do around here, I don't need to add any more. I know plants can demand a lot: They need water, sunshine, and endless attention, and all it takes is for you to take your eyes off them for one second, and suddenly they are withering and suffering. I have enough attention-seeking attitude from my extremely spoiled cats. So, every time someone comes over and decides to gift me with a plant, I find another loving home for it. In the meantime, my plastic ones are thriving, and I don't have to feel guilty for forgetting to water anything alive. 

I was impressed when the woman below shared that she was willing to water her neighbor's plants every time the neighbor was out of town. Here I am, refusing to take care of my own plant, and this friendly neighbor is more than happy to do the same for someone else. That is, until the kind favor started feeling more like a job than anything else. Every time the friendly neighbor agreed to water the plants, the to-do list she got increased. We've established that it takes a lot more than simply watering a plant to keep it alive, so the tasks keep getting more and more complicated. It got to a point that the friendly neighbor had to start setting some clear boundaries.

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  • Woman watering neighbor's plants at home.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Woman watering neighbor's plants at home.

    Representative only.

  • AITA for telling my neighbor I won’t water her plants anymore after she started leaving me a to-do list?

    I (29F) live in an apartment building and have been friendly with my neighbor Diane (60s) for about two years. When she travels, I
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • water her plants and bring in her mail. I've never minded, and I never asked for anything in return.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • Over the last few months, though, it has changed. Diane used to leave a quick note like Back Sunday, thanks so much!
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • Now she leaves a full typed list. It includes watering different plants on different schedules, rotating some pots toward the window, wiping leaves
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • with a damp cloth, and misting the ferns twice a day. Last week the list also asked me to check that the humidifier is at 45%.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • I stopped by this week after her latest trip and told her, as kindly as I could, that I was happy to keep watering the plants. but couldn't keep up with
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • a daily list, since I work full-time and have a long commute. I suggested simplifying it or hiring a plant sitter for longer trips.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034

  • When I ask one of my friends or neighbors to feed my cats when I am not around, you can bet that I am offering them some kind of payment in return. Even if they refuse, I still go out to buy them a gift to show my gratitude. It only seems fair. So, if I were in Diane's shoes, I would have offered to pay my friendly neighbor for her help a long time ago. It only seems fair that she gets something out of all the work she has been putting in, especially as the tasks became more complicated and a lot more time-consuming.

  • Diane looked hurt and said I had agreed to help and that her plants are like family. She said that if I wasn't willing to do it
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • properly, she'd rather I not do it at all. I said okay, that maybe it was best if I stepped back. She hasn't spoken to me since, and
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • we've now run into each other in the hallway twice with only an awkward nod.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • My friend says I was right to set a boundary. My sister thinks I should have just done the extra tasks because it's a small favor
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • for an older woman who lives alone. I feel guilty, but I also feel like a favor shouldn't turn into a second job. AITA?
    via u/Independent_Buy8034

  • I can't count how many times I have found myself doing a favor for someone and ending up feeling like I'm actually doing a job. Usually, I wouldn't say anything if it's just the one time, but if just the one time, but if that favor is a recurring task, something has to change. I can't be expected to basically work for someone without getting anything in return.

  • Woman watering house plants.
    via Nina Zeynep Güler

    Woman watering house plants.

    Model representation. 

  • afreshstart2015 Nta get your sister to water the plants
    via afreshstart2015
  • Independent_Buy8034 OP Haha, that's an option, but I think I'll just let Diane arrange her own plant care from now on.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034
  • Root-magic Watering plants is one thing, but wiping leaves and rotating pots is a bit much. She can pay someone to do that
    via Root-magic
  • Independent_Buy8034 OP Exactly! I wouldn't mind watering them, but all those extra little tasks are something she can hire someone for. I think that's a fair boundary.
    via u/Independent_Buy8034

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neighbors favor plants job house neighborhood garden to do resident home
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